My Final Plea

To my Maiden so dear, my Angel, my Alexandra, I cry,

Forgive this Man, who without you remains a Fool, oh why?
For endless days and countless nights, I call your name,
But nowhere are you found—I am to blame.

I ask the Alchemist, his help I plead,
He told me what a wise man once decreed:
“when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.,”

he pours tea, his eyes like fires, still no samovar to be.
“An Alchemist I am, but know my limitations, please;
Your fate is in your hands, with blessings from God your shall proceed – but heed, your wish only your Maiden can appease.”

His words echoed true, the universe in its might,
Summoned friends from afar, stars in the night.
Efforts you see now in hand from an employ from Alchemist Delivery Service, does that really exist?

My words may be a blunder, in Russian it may be another – but friends flock to fix my errors

You inspired my heart and my words
I learned to write with my heart as my quill,
Casting off the darkness, revealing my will.
But tears they will not clear

My challenge, my goal – to learn what I can
About the land of the Tsars, their wisdom and scars,
Pushkin, Mandelstam, their verses like stars.
With the Universe beside me, trusted souls shaped my plea,

Inspired I be, not for loss or for some regret
Inspired I be, for an Alexandra who set my heart free
For a year of suffering that be, I realize – I am meant for thee
My words flow free, from a heart open and free

My Maiden, my Angel, you taught me well, indelible in my heart,
To love deeply, to never part.
This light you brought into my life,
Burns brightly—but only for thee, my reason to be.

The Specter and my Fears clouded my sight,
Not knowing how to love, I lost the fight.
No excuses can be made for the fears I faced,
For the pain I caused, for the love displaced.

Across lands and time, your light guides me still,
I try with all my might, this is my fight
From Oakland Park to Freehold to Barnaul's distant shore,
An endless journey I take, my light burning evermore.

On bended knees on shards of glass, engulfed in blood and pain
With an empty heart that can bleed no more, empty from the lack of light,
This, a first ask in my life to one most important in my life
For forgiveness and grace

I ask to end my suffering, my plight, my days that stretched into night,
I ask you please, consider my plea—
I ask of you, with your grace pure and true
To be open, starting anew.

This Man is a Fool
A Man who suffered and now knows
A love that spans so much time, is love in deed
Alexandra, my Maiden, My Angel - Forgive Me, Please

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